la nuit derniere, pour moi

novembre

all of that [ --- ] being said, i am ever amazed at my own ability to adapt, strengthen,

focus, and overcome. last night, i laid in bed smarting from [ --- ], and in the darkness

my need filled the entire room, suffocating me, drowning me, snuffing out my brilliance. several minutes passed, and then someone turned into the drive outside my window, momentarily sending strips of white across the walls, illuminating the window sills

and flooding the room with dimension and perspective. i closed my eyes

and firmly resolved to stop this, to silence the plaintitive whimpering of my soul.

i forced the foreign particles of weakness from my veins, my skin, my lungs. i purged the overindulgence of pity from my stomach and said to the dark, disparaging voices in my ears, be gone. and in those blissful, blurry moments that come right before sleep,

i saw myself as radiant, clean, capable, and whole;

yes, i saw myself clothed in the white garment of my own kindness toward myself.

---s.r.