today Google is celebrating The Very Hungry Caterpillar. according to this article, a copy of the book still sells every 30 seconds in the world.
i remember reading this book. i remember the magic certain books had. to this day i love Roald Dahl and anything by Chris van Allsburg.
i yearn for the days when things were simpler . . . when love was still a faraway notion and the complexities of adult life remained in the distance. i miss the world i lived in, a world of color and words. i miss knowing and understanding the things in my world, and that being enough. i miss being taken care of and not doubting events and the motivations of others.
the yearning is more than what i'm describing, deeper than i can get at right now, but it's there. it's mixed with sadness and confusion and pain. but i am here and things are as they are. to appreciate life with the heart that is in me now, no longer light like it once was, is a challenge i will rise to meet.
kyrie eleison
5 comments:
i know what you mean about the kid's books...i remember going to the bookmobile (a little portable extension of the public library that parked outside our school weekly) every wednesday to take out books as a kid...right now i don't remember the authors, but if i saw the cover illustrations i'd recognize them right away. and fantasy novels were amazing too. i was lucky enough to have a daddy who LOVED to read novels to me, complete with different accents to differentiate characters. that contributed a LOT to my imagination as a kid. oh books. such a great part of life.
ps i love reading your blog. even though you're not as happy as you may have been in the past, your experiences and growth at this point in your life will allow you to experience even greater happiness down the road. at least that's what i believe. take care lady
I know this yearning.. it turns easily from bitterness and then back to desperate desire. In dwells within me every time I suddenly remember that I am alive.. breathing.. being... It dwells within me when I am awed and wonder at the power of the ocean, the age of the mountains, the expanse of the night sky.... and beyond.... when I see tragedy, when I encounter new life, when I meet new people, when I am confronted with suffering, and ugliness, when I realize that everything that is one day will not be...
It is the contradiction inherent in life... I have struggled so long with the question of why I yearn for something to be other than what it is.. why I wish things were different, but the only thing I know is that somewhere within me there is a vision that comes from somewhere beyond me something that I want to be, and to be a part of... some part of me that that absolutely must reach beyond myself.. somehow.
I call that vision heaven and it is not a vapid celestial realm of harmony.. but a deep reality that I must reach toward to the limits of my being... in this heaven, I am okay with pain, okay with the unknown, okay with being and okay with dying...
Amen and Amen, kyrie eleison.
jordan: thank you...for sharing your simple and lighthearted childhood memories with books and dad. for your encouragement, which means more than you may realize. for your outside perspective, which is broader than my made-narrow-by-pain vision right now. thanks for being here and reading and growing with me.
mr. saint: every time i read something by you, the Truth of it presses in on me until tears are squeezed out of my eyes. i think i'll have to read your comment 12 more times to take it all in. "in this heaven, I am okay with pain, okay with the unknown, okay with being and okay with dying..."
so as much as i love this life, love being alive, i also say to Him, come quickly.
i love all of you on this comment strain.
i love that google icon. what a great book that was.
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