but today is Epiphany for me.
today i see Him more clearly, i see what He came to do for me. and i see that in shedding some of the privileges a position at the right hand of the Father would have afforded Him, the privilege of eternity was extended to me. i see at last with my own eyes that by His wounds i am healed.
and i see that somehow in all of this, i am sacredly beautiful. i am worth your time, i am interesting, i am full of life and ideas. there's something important and precious transacting in my being, and from the depths, through the fragments, a light shines. i am not the source of this light, but i house it. i do not need to be my own source of light, and the freedom that washes over me in the wake of that realization means i can breathe again. i can fall. i can fail. any success i may have in this life can and will happen despite my falling and my failing.
as many times as i may get knocked over, i will stand up again. nothing can touch the spark in my heart; it's behind a door that can't be breached. and i used to think that door had to be made of iron and stone, the impenetrable result of so many years of self-powered protective industry --- but today i realize it is a heart of flesh, a real, true heart, that is truly indestructible. notice i did not say "unbreakable" --- a real heart breaks, and breaks again. but in letting itself be touched, squeezed, and maybe even dropped, it is saved from a cold, distant, lonely life.
i want a heart that has been held.
and in this case,
i have exactly what i want.
silver sequin packet || nice package shopthere is a light in my soul that will leave you breathless. there are holy ornaments of love, peace, patience, and gentleness hung on the nail-pierced tree. there is hope for me. there is hope for me. i say it again (rejoice): there is hope for me. amen.
may we know that today is another day;
may we know we are not alone;
may we know it's not up to us;
may we see ourselves for what we truly are;
may we give our hearts, even at great expense.
may we see ---
oh, help us to see.
may we know we are not alone;
may we know it's not up to us;
may we see ourselves for what we truly are;
may we give our hearts, even at great expense.
may we see ---
oh, help us to see.
6 comments:
any success i may have in this life can and will happen despite my falling and my failing.
or maybe, our successes come BECAUSE of the failings and fallings we've had or made in our lives. i think failure, mistakes, even regrets are intended to be building blocks and contrast for our growth and later success. they suck, there's no question about it, but there is no human on earth who has not had some sort of failure or shortcoming so i think (as it's been said) to err is human, and we end up better for it in the end.
love you lady, so glad your Epiphany has come to you in such a clear and profound way.
per my post on the blog, I really needed this. It spoke right into what I am facing now. Thank you.
i'm at a loss for words right now because i am not feeling well, but i wanted you to know:
i see you.
i am here.
we (3) love you.
Do you remember those first words you ever sent me? The welcome from the geisha lamp? That was the first time I realized that you have a clarity which slides like the wind through the smallest chinks, slips up on me unexpectedly and seeps straight into my soul.
xox (doesn't even cut it)
I was here.
I read this.
I understand.
I love you.
sweet jordan: good point. thanks for seeing the other side and for your support always.
sp: i hope things have gotten better, and lighter...
mme.: thank you for seeing and loving me. it sounds so simple to say but sometimes the simplest things are the most needed.
kntbc: i (& my geisha) am honored to slip through those chinks in your soul, and to be a part of what's going on inside. i love you redwood.
jsl: thank you for being here and for being everything you are to me from so far away. it's like you're right next to me, trotting like a little pony.
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