it's been a strange few days. i've been flooded with memory. the power of memories, good and bad, can be overwhelming. i think the most recent wave has been gathering height for awhile, and this weekend i felt the full effect of its crash. saturday night i fell asleep on the jagged shore with sandy hair, stinging eyes, and raw knees.
i'm learning that the deepest wounds may heal, but their mark is always left on your soul. and it's difficult for me to reconcile myself to that.
i don't know what to say about it anymore. or maybe i do, and i don't want to say it. most of the words i've come up with so far seem either desperately hopeless, or naively hopeful. i'm usually not one to easily find a temperate middle ground . . . nope. i'm a girl at sea who rises and falls with every swell.
so until i find my sea legs (and stop tottering like a fawn), i will have stretches of days like this, uncertain hours, salty cheekbones. i'm beginning to think the storms and the tears are part of what makes life complex . . . and beautiful.
here's to hard-earned wisdom,
5 comments:
I was told recently that "wounds are for healing and scars are for telling," and I thought to myself afterward how mute and blank we would be without our stories. Not that I want you or I or any of us to go though fire, but, well, I guess there you go.
Complex.
Beautiful.
Exactly.
I'll be imagining your grin.
...salt on your cheeks...salt on his lips...salt from the ocean, your tears, the rim...all...worth tasting...now & again.
Lovely One,
The single most tremendous quote I ever read about tears was this:
Tears are a river that carry you somewhere.
I wish upon wish that I could remember the author.
xoxoxox from San Jose,
Allison
I too know something about scars. Umber is so right. Also, even the scar of a healed wound can take a long time to stop twanging sharply in certain weather and fade from red to pink to pale. But it WILL stop, and it WILL fade. It'll remain a mark, but ultimately a signifier of something learned, to know and tell about, and a reminder that you are brave.
xo
Dorothy
you all make me cry. in the best way. i love you.
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