{ sometimes }

{ elle est toujours seule }

sometimes you get knocked down

sometimes words take the wind out of you

sometimes what you've been burdened with chills your bones

sometimes you get one more chance to prove you can still stand up in the storm

sometimes life seems to laugh at you

sometimes it seems nothing will go your way

sometimes all you want is what you can't have

sometimes your throat is so hollow you think you'll never speak again

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i don't want any more of { those emails }
the ones that send a sharp current across the back of my neck. i don't want to be ambushed by these messages, no matter how well-intended they may be. i hate having things unexpectedly dropped into my lap, especially emotionally difficult things...it only amplifies their impact. i don't want to keep getting hit with everyone's vehicles of expression. it's happened too many times, i'm fragile now, i have the world's asphalt embedded in my skin.

i don't want to face { that }
because no matter what, i can't win --- no matter what, i'm the ugly girl, the dark one, the unpredictable inaccessible one you'd be nervous to take home to your mother. even if i'm completely justified in my actions, i will always be { less } i will always be { too much } i will never be ... what? i will never be right enough to be chosen.

i don't want to feel { this way }

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her heart is broken but she won't say that

her heart is broken but she can't go back

{ b.r. }