{ here to stay }

and in the winter night sky ships are sailing,

looking down on these bright blue city lights.

and they won't wait, and they won't wait, and they won't wait.

we're here to stay, we're here to stay, we're here to stay.

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it's been so long since i felt this way --- no, it's not love, it's the opposite --- no, not hate, just --- the absence of love. specifically, the love present in that absence: the love i have for myself, for my life. the love no one can touch except if i allow it, the love that burns my eyes when i realise i'm truly okay. the love that never left me, stronger than the iron in any blood.

oh god, i've finally said goodbye enough that i've found it again. 

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these feet that have sunk into sand for four years are standing on pavement of solid gold. 

i hardly know what to do.

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the world feels so different. it should be harder to breathe.

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my dear old friend, take me for a spin

two wolves in the dark, running in the wind

i'm letting go, but i've never felt better

passing by all the monsters in my head

lyrics by

of monsters and men