{ surrender to the afterglow }

i've been emotional lately; just this morning in the weary quiet, tears slipped from the corners of my eyes and followed the curves of my earlobes. they spiraled inward, tracing whorls of cartilage uninterrupted, carrying a sadness back to the depths of me through the hollows of my skull, pathways of bone.

//

i couldn't tell you exactly why i cry, but
i think it has something to do with the fact that i'm growing to be happy
and i don't understand how, or why.

i think it's because i'm finding true love --- the love i give myself ---
and it electrifies, thrills, and terrifies me to be so self-sufficient.

i think it's because a new determination courses through my body,
a will to structure and push myself physically,
and i realize how strong i could be.

i think it's because i live in the past
the worst parts and the best ones
and i am constantly aware
that time is gone forever
there is no going back
i must continually go forward
into the unknown

//

concretely speaking, i cannot stop myself from crying
every single time i read this:

one day, whether you
are 14,
28
or 65

you will stumble upon
someone who will start
a fire in you that cannot die.

However, the saddest,
most awful truth
you will ever come to find ---

is they are not always
with whom we spend our lives.

{ "the awful truth" // beau taplin }