a person has to love and care for herself in a healthy way before she can love and care for another in a healthy way. of course we can love and care for each other in ways that are unhealthy, and we do all the time. it seems selfish to attend to oneself before attending to others. however, although twisted love is love of some kind, i don't want it. i've accepted it before because i thought it was all i could get (in both romantic and platonic relationships) and it felt okay at the time, for awhile, but looking back on the wreckage, i wish i'd sought better love.
i'm sure there are those of you out there who think it's cruel of me to "rank" love as worse or better. i don't ask that you adopt my perspective or system of definitions and heirarchies. the bottom line is, there's unhealthy love and there's healthy love. of course love isn't always entirely one or the other, i know this. but i'd like to seek a deeper, purer love than i have in the past. i've caught a glimpse of it and now i can't settle for less.
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2 comments:
well said.
I really undertand. My pastor really drove this home for Billy and I in pre-marriage counseling. I didn't understand what he really meant till I got married. We are both very independent. Its hard to explain but I know that when we do have conflicts they would really be compounded if I didn't have a love for myself. Of course its a learning process and my love of self can turn into an obession which is not healthy.
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