february continues.

well, Month of Love. so you're half over. how the hell did you manage to slip by so quickly? nevermind, i'm not interested in the way you do that. i don't want to know. it's a dark magic and i want nothing to do with it. just stay away from my days and we'll be just fine.

so Boy Wonder left for the dusty southwest on Tuesday afternoon. since i had to work (what else is new) a friend took him to the airport in the blizzard. i think his flight was delayed about 2.5 hours; he text messaged me at 1 a.m. CST to say he'd gotten there safely and was going to bed.

last night i had the annual "female bonding party" that my boss puts on for all the female coworkers the week of Valentine's Day. i'm the youngest one there by 10 years and the only unmarried one. needless to say, it's interesting to listen to the women complain about their husbands and grown children. i've realized that this is necessary for women --- to commiserate, to complain, to empathize. each story tops the next: "well MY husband's father would sit at the table every morning just waiting for his wife to put out his juice glass and cereal for him...so when my husband retired, i told him we could eat dinner together, but there would be NO breakfasts or lunches!"

it's also funny to observe them after they have a glass or two of wine. quite the different picture from what i see at work. i don't get much out of the evening but i go to show solidarity. just because i'm the youngest one doesn't mean i can't and won't participate. i don't want to be seen as the sullen kid in the corner that reminds everyone of their exasperating offspring. the difference is ironic: at their age, they're desperate for a night out; at my age, i'm desperate for a night in. i will say it's strangely comforting to see grown women letting loose and staying out late on a weeknight. apparently one's social life doesn't have to wither completely after marriage and kids.

so after the party, BoyW called to say hello, and i told him about my day, which by then seemed to have been 37 hours long. i was delightedly surprised to hear that he'd already visited the post office in the town where his uncle lives to send me a letter (impressive, no?). i was surprised further when he told me that i had to stop by his apartment after work today to pick up something that he'd left for me, for Valentine's Day.

granted, i gave him sort of a hard time about the fact that he was going to be gone over Valentine's Day. i was half joking, but only half. truthfully, i AM disappointed he's gone. i don't care if it's a Hallmark holiday puffed up to be something that profits brutal CEOs at greeting card companies. i don't care if i fall into a category of people who are duped into thinking this day has to be special or that i have to wear pink or red (i'm wearing a pink dress shirt, by the way).

this is the time in my life where i'm actually experiencing romance. and after 24 years of being single, i don't have a problem with enjoying that.

no, it wasn't that hard to be single from age 0-9, but at age 10 i started to wonder if i'd ever have a boyfriend. yep, we start 'em young in this country with the help of Disney, Barbie, games like Girl Talk, and whoever the newest female pop star might be. and as junior high and high school came on, being single became increasingly hard. forget being single in college --- people get MARRIED in college. and my first serious (as in, he'd "already pictured what our kids would look like") relationship actually officially began on Valentine's Day 2003, only to end in heartbreak less than 2 months later.

so last year, Valentine's Day 2007, was my first V-Day experience ever that was positive. i was with someone. i was happy. we celebrated together. i can't even remember what we did. it doesn't matter. Valentine's Day was redeemed.

so this Valentine's Day, my second one (with the same someone! imagine that), i'm alone once more while he communes with cacti hundreds of miles away. yes, i was a little sad.

but it seems he's really made the effort to make me feel loved in his absence. and it feels good. i have no idea what will be waiting for me at his apartment, but i can't wait to find out. i sent him off to Arizona with an envelope full of letters and cards for certain days of his time away, including this one:

(from armato design's shop on Etsy)
click to enlarge and see the adorable detail

tonight i plan on watching "The Family Stone" starring Rachel McAdams (one of my sheroes ever since "Mean Girls"), SJP (Sarah Jessica Parker), Luke Wilson, and Diane Keaton. i may treat myself to Chipotle, and i will also be eating my weight in chocolate.

Happy Valentine's Day.