green wristband

i spend about 14% of my life at work identifying patients. every person who walks through the door has to recite his/her date of birth and spell his/her last name and be given a green wristband. it's tedious. it's regulation. i don't have a choice.

i don't like not having a choice.

for instance, the hospital has blocked just about all the websites i'd care to visit during any given day. this used to be my secondary habitat on the world wide web, and now it may become my primary one. i don't have much hope, however --- soon the hospital internet nazis may block Blogger too.

i've never realized just how much i crave distraction.
is this really how i am? or am i a product of culture?
does it matter?

occasionally i have a problem with authority. i don't like being controlled or censored.
my eyes hurt.
my head hurts.
my freedom hurts.

so what if i want to search for a new apartment on Craigslist while at work? as long as i finish my responsibilities with excellence, why does the organization care what i do in the meantime?

i made a label that says "BLAH" and stuck it on the mouthpiece of my phone in my office. sometimes it scratches my chin when i'm talking and doing something else that requires me to hold the phone between my ear and shoulder.

i'd rather be cold than hot.

my person comes back on Wednesday. i'm just now getting used to him being gone, actually. i realized that today. of course i'm only getting used to it because when he comes back, we'll still be together. i don't think i could learn to tolerate his absence so easily if we broke up. but i'd rather not think about that.

do you ever feel really hungry, but you have no idea what it is you want to eat? that's one of the most frustrating things to me. if i don't have a specific taste for something, i'd rather not eat at all. is that weird?




none of what i've written really makes any sense.