i've had a hard time

with some things. with many things. well, some days more than others. you know what i mean. right? well, today seems dull and bright at the same time --- i don't know how that works, but i know what i feel, and today it's a mixed bag.

"all that rubbish" as Kanye says.
not that he's the expert, but . . .
when i make my first rap album & million dollars,
i'll get back to you.

look at this. just look at it! i went on a catalogue binge a couple weeks ago and requested those thin reams of goodness from all my favorite establishments of beauty: j. crew, pottery barn, crate & barrel, urban outfitters, red envelope, anthropologie. and this last origin of temptation is from whence these photographs come, in all their magnificence . . .



there seems to be a bird theme. and if anthropologie hadn't switched to using a flash player for their clothing photos, i would have posted the "Sunset Migration Skirt" for you. really, it warrants opening a new tab and seeing for yourselves.

things change, space rearranges itself.

air that once seemed breathable becomes stifling. you go to bed with the furniture of your heart in one place, and when you've woken up, you're stumbling over mussed carpets and bruising your shin on the chair that last night was certainly not there, but over there . . .

evaluating what one has can be a frightening thing. the world rarely lives up to my freakishly neurotic expectations, and i am both disappointed in the world and in myself for not being more realistic. have you ever wished and waited for someone to say a certain thing, and it never happens? and i could have sworn i knew him well enough to have hoped with good reason. it leaves me feeling like i've been dropped cold into another landscape altogether.



where am i?
the echo of you resonates,
but you're nowhere to be found.