i am here with you now to say
the things that are unspeakable
so
listen.
{she}
the things that are unspeakable
so
listen.
{she}
the cooler weather has brought it out of me, this spirit of remembering, this silence. i'm getting ready to hibernate and i only want to take the very best thoughts with me. i'm too old and too young to waste any time with being afraid. it all sounds very bold, but i'll tell you i'm not sure what it means. i just know i want to use the time i have the very best way i can.
so i'm looking people in the eye, i'm smiling more, i'm not speaking when i don't feel like it. and i'm giving myself to you, to this, because without it what else is there? without love there is nothing. without love my life is just noise. what am i even saying anymore? i'm lost in a waking dream. i'm a professional daydreamer {all right, it's all right now --- over the rhine}.
don't you just want to bein this bed, in this bedroom?
i am here because i want to be here, but also because somehow the 2 year anniversary of this little blogette passed me by and i never realized it. this space came to be in September 2007. it is still going. it has changed. i have changed. it holds the words i've written during more intense experiences than i can count. it holds so much of me, and much that most people who know me in "real life" might never see. it's been a portal to a handful of kindred souls i feel so privileged to have found.
(i've also somehow reached 5,000 visitors around the same time. most of you mega-bloggers passed that tally mark long ago, but it's a landmark for Speaking For Herself.)
gorgeous image found heretoday i don't really know what else to say that hasn't been said already. it's autumn. there's been disappointment and heartbreak and rebuilding and maybe the slimmest white moon of hope rising in my heart. i don't know what the future is but i'm ready for the unknown --- having said that, i implore the heavens to be kind. i need to be quieter sometimes. i need to excavate this uncut gem sitting beneath my ribs. i need to unfold my wings. i need to breathe deeply. i need to:
read T.S. Eliot
finish Jane Eyre
wear more scarves
buy new jeans
write a few poems
learn to like tea
knit
remember
fling off the old,
put on the new.
everything is new and so unpredictable
i have much farther to go . . .
{rosie thomas}
i have much farther to go . . .
{rosie thomas}
9 comments:
I like your to do list... : )
happy belated 2 years - like i've said so many times before, your travels through your life, rough and smooth, and the words that accompany them inspire me. and i love you for it ;)
xo from here to there
J'adore ceci !
Your words are powerful, and your modesty refreshing. I am so glad I found your blog, you have inspired and encouraged me more than you know...
5000 is a HUGE number! You are to be congratulated for 2 years of passionate journaling too!
...and you are to be thanked, from my heart dear She. A gem of the blogging world, and a kindred of the soulful, soppy, heartfelt, deep & thoughtful spirits to inhabit the www.
I'm nodding right along with you, and you, well, you feel very close right now. Life is too short, too long, too old and too young, and that precious gem of yours catches more light that I think you ever notice.
Loves love.
What a beautiful way to think about the winter. Congradualations on 2 years and 5000!
...i dig your...attitude...
Oh, She, you've manage to convey a part of everyone woman, a bit of what I think and have not been able to say...
Thank you for being bold and bringing it out!
:)
Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
oh friends! hello and hello...
mrsLJ: thanks! it's always a revolving door, my autumnal dream to-do list :)
jordan: like i've said so many times before...thank you. thanks for being here always, and for checking in on me, rejoicing in the journey even when i can't.
shell: your words mean more than YOU know. thank you for visiting me here, and for all your encouragement.
umber: i think my gem is sparked by yours, when the sun hits us both just right. we are together even though we aren't together and that's a good feeling.
pavelx: i'm so glad to see you here!
nancy: and i yours :) you and your ellipses never cease to make me smile and feel like i can keep going for just one more day.
michaela: well it's always amazing to hear i've spoken what someone else was feeling/thinking. thanks for telling me so :)
changing: two words: thank you. no, let's not waste a moment on yesterdays. i needed that.
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