today is a sadsoul day.
waves of exhaustion, responsibility, too much remembering.
and i still have 2 gigs yet to play tonight and tomorrow . . .
a meeting is cancelled, something crops up to replace it.
a body leaves, i rise up to meet the emptiness,
but what rises to inhabit the emptiness in my soul?
i'm second in command to everyone else's needs,
but who stands ready to support me?
suddenly they are all away, absent,
absorbed in their own happiness ---
and why shouldn't they be?
joy is all-consuming.
when things are going our way,
we assume everyone else is happy too:
an unmalicious selfishness.
even left alone on this branch
i am too heavy for it; the tree groans
beneath the weight of my weariness.
but i am singing
i will sing
i will sing
with all my heart.
waves of exhaustion, responsibility, too much remembering.
and i still have 2 gigs yet to play tonight and tomorrow . . .
a meeting is cancelled, something crops up to replace it.
a body leaves, i rise up to meet the emptiness,
but what rises to inhabit the emptiness in my soul?
i'm second in command to everyone else's needs,
but who stands ready to support me?
suddenly they are all away, absent,
absorbed in their own happiness ---
and why shouldn't they be?
joy is all-consuming.
when things are going our way,
we assume everyone else is happy too:
an unmalicious selfishness.
even left alone on this branch
i am too heavy for it; the tree groans
beneath the weight of my weariness.
but i am singing
i will sing
i will sing
with all my heart.
3 comments:
Sweet singing friend, (when you say gigs - do you mean, performing?) : )
I love the way you've expressed your heart this day. Your "unmalicious selfishness" as you put it is normal and understandable in my opinion.
It takes a long time to feel complete in just yourself for companionship, and knowing your Lord is your first husband and closest confidante, I am sure will comfort your thoughts.
I am married - but so much time for me is still spent alone, working hard, serving other's needs (like you described) so I can truly relate... and only end by saying that true Christian happiness in life is a narrow path, and few find it. I believe you are can be one of the lucky ones...
xx
thank you dear friend. and you are right - i AM one of the lucky ones. your presence here means so much to me!
"this too shall pass", and let's hope quickly ♥
Post a Comment