i've been feeling tempestuous lately. like, outbursts of yelling and throwing things. don't worry, i try to keep it in contained environments devoid of pets or small children. even so, some of the calm i've felt during the latest new season of transition has left me.instead of being alarmed, i've decided i'm just traveling through the great process of change, loss, and eventually embracing new things. it's just that usually i do this the other way around --- i'm volatile and unpredictable first, and then the calm descends. this time, for reasons unbeknownst to me, i was placid first . . . and now i'm starting to fight the pull of change, the compelling force of becoming.
it's rewarding to become.
but it's so much easier to remain.
if the thought of musty stagnancy didn't make me wrinkle my nose or shudder so violently, i just might have to stay this way. but as it is, i'm a mercurial nocturne who secretly loves to awake with shreds of sunlight on my face. i was made to be made new. i was made for wide spaces.
onward & forward & toward it is, then.
2 comments:
I wish you were a shred of sunlight on MY face. I miss you. And I'm kind of glum today. Come break my plates and yell in my kitchen. There aren't any children, the dogs will understand and RW just baked banana bread.
x
you are lovely.
and there is nothing wrong with a little destruction now and then :)
You have a great perspective on that difficult beast change.
xo
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