i sit here in a room that looks like the wreckage of a sample sale and i feel defeated before i begin. since when do i have so much stuff? the thing is, i love my things. not inordinately --- well, not most of them, i do really love my Kors handbag --- but i do love them. and the process of layering color over pattern over texture over soul is a completely joyous one to me.
i do believe i'm reaching the point where i have enough stuff. where the acquisition of more stuff would be foolish and excessive. some might say i'm way past that point. i don't care. i'm a big girl and i can decide those things for myself.
the thing is . . . i don't have room for my gorgeous stuff . . . because i live in one room . . . one . . . room . . . and one tiny closet not just for my clothes, but for all the other beautiful non-clothes items i've obtained carefully and thoughtfully during my adult life thus far. and i'm frustrated b/c i'm being overcome by my own things when if things had gone how i thought they would, i'd be married with my own house with multiple closets and artfully arranged rooms with side tables and bookshelves and surfaces for my things and drawers for my scarves and doors for hooks for belts and long pewter grey pearl necklaces . . .
i've been away so long i don't even know how to talk here anymore.
i'm sorry.
wait. no. i'm not.
but this absence . . .
this overwhelmedness . . .
i can't address it, so i talk about my stuff . . .
we all have to start somewhere.
5 comments:
i just want you to know that i absolutely enjoy your posts. i get excited when you post, and somehow everything you say makes clear sense to me. even when you've been absent from posting for a while. that makes sense. i do the same thing, i guess.
anyway, you're appreciated :]
TO smithers.
I've missed you, sweet bestie.
xx
I think you began exactly where you were meant to begin: in a place of honesty right where you sit.
Missing. You.
We certainly do all have to start somewhere. I think that is a good half of the battle - finding the place to start :-)
Jaime
I am happy to fly over and organize your space for you. Though I assume my visit would prompt some girly shopping and the purchasing of a few more cardigans, so maybe that would be one step forward - two cardigans back.
I miss you, your pattern-full bedroom, and Chipotle dates...
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