{ absolutely nothing like that. }

shining like a work of art

hanging on a wall of stars

you're my satellite

{ guster }

i want this shirt. real bad.

i want a mental health day.

but i don't want to think anymore.

so...scratch that.

i think i know what i want, but deeper down,

closer to the core of this unevenly revolving planet,

i know that often what i think i want

is not what i want at all.

as an introvert, it's weird to wonder if i can trust myself.

everyone else's voice is so loud. i make the voices of others

louder than they should be. because i want approval,

i want to make sense to others, and i don't want anyone

to think i don't know what i'm doing.

but who knows better than me

what i need?

(until now? everyone.)

i have to concentrate so hard to hear my own voice.

sometimes on the outside i'm kind of loud,

but the things i feel most deeply about

are often

silent.

of all the things my college boyfriend never understood about me,

he understood this.

i remember being at a concert and hearing a song that moved me.

i was utterly still and utterly quiet. someone asked,

"what's wrong?" and he interjected,

"nothing. she just really likes it," or something like that.

he always spoke for me when he shouldn't,

i was perfectly capable of articulating myself,

but for once i didn't mind.

i think it's because for once

he really got it. he really got me.

so it's sort of like this turquoise shirt

makes me simmer down and silently

reach for my credit card.

something (or nothing) like that.