{ monday, gathered }

everything seems to go awry

so i'm having toffee for lunch

i've reached a point where i wonder what will happen next, and i expect the worst. i don't know how not to live that way. i don't know how not to prepare for extremes. every time i ready myself, what comes to pass is even worse than what i expected. is it possible i'm making space for difficulty in the hours of my life, and it's simply coming to sit in the place i've cleared for it?

on saturday night i heard that song

i knew it meant i'd be okay

but it made me cry anyway

i just don't know if you could ever understand. and people see me fail, and they're not used to it because i'd never let anyone see that. now it's breaking through and i wonder if they will still accept me. i am not the person you thought i was. i am more and i am less.

i am wearing seven bracelets today
and six rings
and one necklace with three charms
and one heart with fourteen holes in it
and a haircut
this is the anatomy of a girl