{ certain things are worth fighting for }

long time, no write, life is a busy-*ss b*tch and all that jazz.
it's inconceivable that i count the passing hours of my days hoping desperately that they will go quickly, but as the months wear on i look back in disbelief wondering how the hell it's already now. life is both too short and too long. and there's always too. much. happening. how to stop the endless march of things? would i be terribly bored if things were calmer? maybe so. actually, the truth is i'd probably be happier. but i'd also be the same version of myself. all the happenings force me to evolve, and for that i suppose i can be thankful to them, overly plentiful as they are.

i don't really have words to put to all that's been going on, so i won't blather on like an idiot trying to tell you everything. maybe one day, or maybe not. the time passes for telling on some things, doesn't it? they no longer feel shareable - they grow down, into the dark and secret places, anchoring us in immeasurable ways, but you'd never be able to tell from the outside. not everything needs to be public. not everything needs to be posted, or tagged, or pixelated on screens and imprinted on anyone else's consciousness.

it seems silly to find something profound in a horoscope one reads on the internet, but i read this earlier today and it was profound:

surrendering isn’t a sign of defeat. certain things are worth fighting for, while others are just a waste of time and energy. if you've tried every way in the book to "make things work!" you've done more than enough. but here's the funny thing. when you back off, rest, and release control, miracles can happen. if the situation doesn't heal itself naturally, a space will open up for something better to come your way. have faith, the universe has your back…even if it doesn't always look that way.

i'm not sure what "the universe having my back" looks like, but at this point i'd welcome any real-time examples. just saying, Universe.