{ no more }

that's it. i'm officially done. in my mind, that is.

i'm weighed down under the knowledge of the end of this job. i'm SICK of request upon request for this or that document. i'm exhausted by all the different ways my coworkers are handling it. my boss's coping mechanism is simply to obsess about everything, and i'm quickly coming to the end of my ability to tolerate it graciously.

before today, i didn't want to take all my personal effects down (without them, this cubicle has no life or color whatsoever), but right now i'm feeling like i don't even care. we're leaving, the hospital doesn't see fit to keep us open anymore, so why not succumb to the ever-widening reach of nothingness? it is so difficult for me to remain positive in these types of situations, mostly because in this particular instance, there really is no point in trying to deny what is happening. this WILL come to an end no matter what i do or when i allow myself to be overcome with that truth. i realize this all sounds so pessimistic, but let's face it: there are some things about life that just suck. and sometimes i feel like it's more productive just to say so than to pretend that's not really how i'm feeling.

whining session over.
except for this:
i miss living anywhere close to good friends.
i would do anything to be back on 3S staying up way too late with kimmie.
studying to the comforting bubble of her hot pot, making tea.
listening to weird-ass music and having IM wars.
being shushed constantly by people from the opposite end of the long hall.
writing defiant, conquering messages on our mirror on exam days.
anything. i would give anything.

i probably won't gain any ground today,
but i'll sure as hell hold the ground i have taken so far.
it will have to be (it is) enough.