the dreaming wall || august
i've been thinking about everything we hope for, the things we carry,
the things we face courageously while inwardly shrinking away.
how an inner tumult can be raging while we go about our business,
picking up coffee creamer, driving home along familiar streets,
typing away furiously at our eternal day jobs.
how i am so often like a human capsule, cerulean powder billowing with an unstoppable, overwhelming inner force through the columns of my legs, my spine, my throat. a shiny commercial-grade plastic coating holds my outer shape, helps me to slide easily through the smooth canals of everyone else's life. i hold myself intact, arms close to my sides, aerodynamic. i make every effort to leave no aftertaste and no residue. i try not to think about how, in doing so, i leave nothing of myself behind. so my greatest fear is not to be missed, to be forgotten easily. but in making my passage through the world invisible in hopes of not intruding and in fear of being spit out, i render myself isolated, tasteless, easily gotten over.
it's a lonely, dissolving path through the body of the world.
[ s.r. ]
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