{ inevitable }

things are always exciting at the beginning.
but as time goes on and what was exciting becomes normal,
and my "normal" is revealed,
the shine fades.

i get it.
my mind is too heavy and complicated for most.
it's why i choose not to share it.
the responsibility of carrying it alone is preferable to the repeated disappointment of thinking someone could shoulder a piece of it, only to discover it's too much (i'm too much).

//

last week i said to a friend, this is just what happens to me.
she stopped me and said, work on saying, "this is what has happened in the past, but this time could be different."
i sat patiently and nodded my head, but inside the wall never fell down.

this is just what happens.